I was about 9 years old when we were learning this tale in school. It was about the seashell and grain of sand. The story goes like this: there is a seashell in the bottom of the great depth of the sea that is making pearls. At the same time there is a grain of sand that is enjoying its freedom lying carelessly on the beach under the warm sun.
We had to write a short essay for the homework. What would we rather choose to be - the seashell or the grain of sand? For me it seemed like the easiest homework I ever considered to be done.
From the first minute it was clear that I would rather be the seashell. Produce something special, something valuable, something extraordinary like a pearl. So I wrote my homework and came back to the school day after. Teacher did not collect our notebooks to check our assignments. She just asked all who decided to be the grain of sand to raise their hands.
To my surprise everybody raised their hand.
Little voices around me were providing reasoning for their choice. ‘Grain of sand has its freedom’, seashell would need to die because of the pearl’... Wouldn't it be worth dying knowing that you have created something special rather than being one of million same grains?
Pretty confused and seemingly lost in my reality I decided to raise my hand. I guess just to comply with the choice of all of my classmates.
This was a long forgotten story about my life that I recalled just a couple of years ago when I was digging deep into my life trying to figure out recurring patterns that would help me identify my purpose, my why.
Basically, I realized that all of my life I was trying to be the seashell. I was trying to give my best and do the things that are different, kind of extraordinary. I was trying to do the things out of nothing, I never was satisfied with simply taking the easy path. I was always curious about what is on the other side. Even when I came to some obstacle, I always tried to climb the fence and see what was there on the other side. Of course sometimes I scratched my hand or fell down. I dusted myself off and continued.
It is really not about what we have decided when we were nine years old, whether seashell was the right or wrong choice. Same as for the grain of sand. We always make our choices based on the beliefs and the values that are residing within us. There are always people in our lives who are raising their hands for something and we are not necessarily agreeing with their choices.
We should not raise our hands or remain silent to simply comply and adapt to whatever others are claiming. Especially now in the times of social media where there is a growing pressure to comply and to be more like someone else in order to be better accepted.
If we fast forward three decades from the time this little girl rose her hand, we find a person who learned to always raise a hand when there is a statement she wants to make. I am not trying to fit it but rather to belong.
We should avoid this shortsightedness of simply obeying the rules and opinions of others in order to avoid being considered a weirdo or someone who has different opinions. Time we lose seeking other’s approvals should be invested in finding where we belong. More importantly, we should never forget to belong to ourselves.
No matter if we choose to be seashells or the grains of sand.
“Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don’t belong. You will always find it because you’ve made that your mission. Stop scouring people’s faces for evidence that you’re not enough. You will always find it because you’ve made that your goal. True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don’t negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you.”
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